a thorough or dramatic change in form or appearance.

a metamorphosis during the life cycle of an animal.


2018 was about ‘change’. It was comprised of brute strength and chaos; seasoned with scheduling and tenacity. It was an ugly all-in-the-muck kind of effort waking up every morning and deciding to go strong after the unknown with nothing more than a vague hope that it would make room for something more in the end. Someday. It was ugly and hard but also useful for, without it, this next step would not be possible.

And now that there is room to grow, 2019 is about ‘transformation’. This is a different beast entirely but just as formidable. This one will require trust and courage; and will demand no more excuses. It will require letting go of precious stories that create a comfortable but suffocating confinement to the things that I think I know about myself.

When an insect enters a stage of transformation several things happen:

First, it knows it is time. This comes from a place within and no external reason. It just knows. 

Secondly, it does its best to prepare. It forms a camouflaged chrysalis or shell in a sheltered place and confines itself in a coating that is only moderately protective.

It then releases the juices formerly used to consume its prey on its own body to break it down completely. It, quite literally, devours itself from the inside out leaving no trace of the past.

This is followed by regrowth in a new, unrecognizable form that better serves its survival. This new body does not look like the old. It has new capabilities that were not there before. It is an entirely new self.

But, before it can thrive, it faces the daunting task of escaping the shell that kept it safe while it underwent the change.

It emerges leaving absolutely everything behind – body and shell - that no longer serve it.

Finally, after winning an immensely private struggle, it soars.


2019 is about transformation.

I can’t explain it. I just know that it is time.

Christine L